Simon says: Happy last night of Hanukkah!

Ferberizing Simon seems to be working - really well. Last night we changed his bedtime routine for the first time in months so that nursing comes before bath time and then story time immediately precedes bedtime. Simon cried for five minutes at 7:30 and was out until 10:30 when he cried for 2 seconds after Mom removed the pacifier from under his body (he had been playing with it before going to sleep). He woke up at 11:30 and Mom fed him (it had been 6 hours by that time since he had nursed and he was coughing from dryness) but she put him down awake; he cried for 10 minutes. He woke up again at 5:30 (his normal waking time) and Hava fed him but he still seemed tired so she put him back down awake and he cried for less than two minutes before sleeping in until 6:40. If it continues to go this well, Hava may just become a Ferber Representative; sharing with parents everywhere the value of the cry-out.

By the way, last week we reported some pretty amazing things Simon did in one morning. He has yet to repeat saying "da da", he calls everything "boo" or "boob" but he has given both of us raspberries on occasion.

Simon says: Happy seventh night of Hanukkah!

Last night we took Simon to The Jungle (a kids play land) and he stood up on his own for the first time (while holding onto a toy for support). All the parents watched as he struggled to get places by crawling and they couldn't help but cheer him on and sympathize with his frustration.

Hava nursed him to sleep at 8 pm and she nursed him again when he woke up at 11:30 but when she put him down at midnight and he wanted to nurse to sleep again even though he couldn't possibly be hungry, we had to make a decision; are we Ferberizing or not? As we waited to see if he would stop crying, Matthew got out the laptop and researched the Ferber "cry it out" Method. As it turns out, all experts agree that a six month old infant doesn't need to eat for at least eight hours during the night. Moreover, we found a University of Michigan study which showed how babies who were "Ferberized" slept for longer periods in general and slept through the night without interruption more often than those who were nursed or rocked to sleep. And we learned that letting Simon "cry it out" doesn't mean just leaving him alone indefinitely; we can go in and comfort him (as long as we don't pick him up) at regular intervals. On the first night we wait five minutes, the second night we wait six, until the intervals at which we comfort him are further apart and he learns that all crying will get is a pat and some soothing words. Last night we took turns comforting him every five minutes for two hours and it was one of the hardest things either of us has ever done. Alas, we agree that he needs to be able to sleep without nursing in the long run, that we really could use regular eight hour intervals of sleep, and that getting him to a regular nap schedule would make Matthew and Simon time more fruitful (they might actually be able to go fun places without Simon falling asleep when they arrive).

Hava and Matthew investigated the "kids club" at their gym on Sunday and purchased 20 sessions for Simon. This week, when he turns six months old, they will be able to take him to the kids club while they work out. Ahhhh, to be in shape again ....

Simon says: Happy sixth night of Hanukkah!

Simon is on his third day of being "Ferberized"; Hava came up with a compromise that she was comfortable with - letting Simon cry it out on her lap and then moving him to the crib. Her rational for the "lap method" is that he will learn how to fall asleep without nursing while not feeling abandoned in the crib. So far he has fallen asleep within 20 minutes of screaming his head off every time. Hava's ear drums will never quite be the same. The benefit of Simon being able to sleep without nursing is that Matthew will have an easier time getting him down when Hava is at work and maybe, one of these days, we can have a sitter for more than two hours. Getting Simon to sleep without nursing or Matthew's special "sleeper hold" would be pretty awful for an outsider and pretty awful for Simon as well.

Yesterday we went on a Simon shopping spree: five rubber balls, four fuzzy blocks, a mini car that pops, a rattle that laughs, a ferris wheel of fish, and a strange looking rolly thing that plays jazz; his current "boring" toys will be hidden in his closet for a month or so and then we'll start a toy rotation - they'll be new all over again.

Simon says: Happy fourth night of Hanukkah!

Simon had his six month doctor appointment yesterday. He is 28 inches long and 16.4 pounds which makes him extra long and extra light for his age. His doctor says that we should now feed him solid food twice a day and she wants him to fall asleep on his own (without nursing or rocking). This means putting him in his crib while awake and letting him "cry it out" something Hava doesn't think she can do while staying sane.

To celebrate Simon's pre-half birthday, we've created a special video. It's 13 MB but worth the wait (unless you have dial up in which case ask us for the video on disk). To Simon, with love from Dad and Mom. We're so happy we made you. Y.M.C.A.

Simon says: Happy second night of Hanukkah!

This was the morning of things Simon probably didn't intend but did nevertheless. First, he rolled over and gave Matthew a raspberry on his arm, then he said "boob" while Hava was getting ready to nurse, and finally, Hava said to Simon "say 'Da Da'" and he said "Da (pause) Da."

Simon and Matthew will be joining Hava for the RLG Holiday party this afternoon. Simon loves RLG; mostly because he is instantly the center of attention.

Simon says: Happy real first night of Hanukkah!

Simon picked up a few new tricks late last week that we haven't yet mentioned. He now reclines on his side, resting on one elbow, to play with toys; he is suddenly overwhelmingly attracted to our laptops and will go to any lengths to type; and, it is no longer acceptable for us to feed him - he has to feed himself. It is a good thing that bath time comes after solid food time; we spent a while last night removing green pea puree from his hair and eye lashes.

Simon became a bouncing baby boy over the weekend - literally. He won't stop bouncing. He just wants to stand and bounce, bounce, bounce. Maybe we'll invest in one of those door hanging things that lets him stand and bounce on his own. Alas, it is likely to go the way of the swing and the bouncy/music chair before long - to the BORING toy graveyard. Simon doesn't actually have that many toys -- something we're likely to remedy by Hanukkah and Christmas (he'll be celebrating both). Big brightly colored balls, trucks with wheels that move, books of baby faces, and musical toys he can bang on are likely to make their way into his hands this holiday season.

Before he makes the holiday rounds, we thought we should mention that, although Simon may look cute and cuddly in photos, he is indeed not cuddly AT ALL. Want to torture Simon? Hold him to your chest. Carry him gently in your arms. Sway slowly back and forth while cooing in his ear. Do these things and you are more than likely to be met with "uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh" (we've decoded this to mean "faster! higher!") Simon is a mover and a shaker - literally. The last time he curled up with one of us and fell asleep (nursing aside) was when he was a few weeks old.

Simon says: Happy Birthday Grammy!

Yesterday was a busy day. First, Simon went to San Mateo with Mom and Dad for Mom's hair appointment and to be oogled by the salon staff. After San Mateo, Simon found himself at his swimming lesson in Palo Alto and finally Simon, Mom, and Dad drove to San Francisco to visit with the Doner-Kagle clan (what cousin Brad might call his "mish-puk-a").

Grandmother, Grandfather, Oma, Aunt Jackie, Auntie Laura, Uncle Jon, Cousins Brad and Jeff, Mom, Dad, and Simon had a lovely meal near Fisherman's Warf to celebrate Oma's belated 91st birthday. Simon fell asleep a few minutes after returning home and slept a full eight hours (without breaks).

Yesterday Simon took his first trip into San Francisco with his Dad to visit Grandmother and Grandfather and he met his Oma and his Aunt Jackie for the first time. Cousins Brad and Jeff showed up with Auntie Laura and Uncle Jon and lots of fun was had. Auntie Laura is a professional and knows all sorts of tricks like placing one of Simon's toys in a tupperware container. FASCINATING.

Simon's favorite words at this time are "abba", "ba", "nee", "aye", and "gae" but he mostly speaks in a click language using his tongue (a la the movie The Gods Must be Crazy). He continues to improve the mini-Kagle crawl; it now takes the form of getting on all fours, moving two knees, flinging self forward before falling on belly, up on all fours and repeat.

It must have been a growth spurt. After a few days of eating everything in sight (including 10 ounces of milk in one sitting), last night Simon turned up his nose at everything he was offered - including bananas.

Hava is down to her last 2 fenugreek capsules. They are supposed to increase milk supply (Hava, you may recall, was attempting to increase her supply so she wouldn't have to pump as often). Did they work? Yes. Really well? No. It is possible that they generated maybe an extra 1 or 2 ounces a day and when you are trying to pump 20-22 ounces, 2 is not extremely helpful. Alas, the freezer is stocked with the extra so we can relax a bit.

Today is closing day for the position in Leeds. Hava will know in the next four weeks if she is being considered.

By the way, our carpets look terrific, it only took an hour to do the entire place, and the price was very reasonable so here the first (free) advertisement on KagleAdventures: Talbot's Steam Cleaning.

Simon didn't spit up once yesterday - not ONCE! Today we are celebrating by having our carpet cleaned.

Newish things for Simon: in the past month he has become sound sensitive; it used to be that we could turn the vacuum on and run it right up to him while he was sleeping and he wouldn't even startle; now he wakes up for every new or non-constant sound. We run the air filter in his room at night to white-out our talking, door closing, dryer buzzing, extravagant late night parties, etc. When he hears a loud noise he checks with us to see if he should be scared or not. We smile and cheer whenever the laundry machine buzzes, the blender starts, or we run the vacuum which probably looks odd but lets the little Kagle know that all is fine with his world. Also new, for the past couple of weeks he has consistently woken up an hour or so after he was put to sleep and simply wants to hold a hand or be held for a few seconds before falling back asleep.

Hava and Matthew couldn't agree on which photo to post this week. Below is the other choice. Which do you prefer?

Simon says: Happy Belated Birthday to Cousin Sarah and Happy Belated Thanksgiving to all!

Simon traveled by train with Mom and Dad to Sacramento to visit Mom's family for Thanksgiving. He had a delightfully festive meal of rice cereal and sweet potatoes. His stomach didn't seem to be feeling well so he went from outfit to outfit all evening turning them a distasteful shade of orange. If Simon were reviewing his travel experience so far he would say that trains are better than cars because you don't have to be strapped into a car seat but they are not quite as comfortable as planes (not as nap friendly) and they take WAY TOO LONG to get anywhere.

Simon is slowly getting better at crawling. He no longer falls on his face but just drops to his stomach after two knees forward. He is incredibly frustrated by his inability to crawl and, sadly, spends the majority of his time on the floor on all fours yelling at himself, the world, and, perhaps, gravity. We've been trying to convince him that, in the meantime, sitting might be fun but he is completely disinterested.

For the past two days, Simon has been sleeping more and ingesting incredible amounts of food. Tonight, after nursing, he ate the equivalent of two jars of baby food (apples and sweet potatoes), a quarter cup of rice cereal, a quarter cup of barley and he nursed again a half hour later. We don't think babies his age are supposed to be eating this much in one sitting so this is either a growth spurt or it may be time to introduce solids more often; we'll discuss this with his doctor on December 9 (his early six month appointment).

Simon showed his first obvious outward display of physical affection yesterday. When Mom came home she plopped herself down next to him on the floor and when Simon saw her he leaned his head against her and then looked up at her, smiled, and leaned his head back again and then looked up at her and smiled and then leaned ...

We started Simon on apple sauce this week. He thinks it is absolutely disgusting; of course we've had to mix everything else with rice cereal before he has found it appealing. Simon LOVES food. Getting in the high chair is the second most exciting time of the day (bath time is the first). We marvel every evening over how much he can eat. Where does it go? Oh wait. We know the answer to that.

Simon's cold left with little fanfare shortly after it arrived. Saturday night he was able to attend his first drive-in movie and Sunday he celebrated Martha's first birthday. Sunday he also learned a new trick - banging! He hasn't actually come across anything that makes noise while being banged but we're sure he'll find something to hold and something to hit and make lots of noise soon.

The biggest news is that Simon is now really close to crawling. We've spent the weekend cheering him on and he has soaked up every minute of the glory. His current method is to push himself up to hands and knees and then move one knee forward and then the other and then fall on his face because his knees and hands are too close together. One of these days he'll figure out how to move his hands forward and then he'll be off.

And then Simon got his first illness; a cold. Unfortunately for Simon, that means staying home from swim class. Maybe we'll take him to the mall for a while today to cheer him up.

One year ago today Simon had his picture taken for the first time. Shall we compare 2 inch, 12 week fetal Simon to 27 inch, 24 week baby Simon?

Here is Simon laying on his back, sucking his thumb, leg up in the "air":

And here is Simon exactly one year later (and over two feet taller):

Today has been a hard day for the wee Simonial Underunit. Last night he woke up screaming because his arm was stuck outside one of the crib slats (it wasn't actually stuck but he thought it was and that scared him half to death). He spent the rest of the night in the big bed with Mom and Dad; they replaced the bumper (again) this morning after lowering the mattress. Maybe with the mattress lower it won't matter so much that Simon can pull down and climb on the bumper? Hava investigated shorter bumpers today but didn't come up with anything less than 9 inches high. There do seem to be "mesh" bumpers that velcro to the crib rails; maybe that kind of bumper can't be used to escape from the crib. We're still investigating the options.

To continue his bad day, Simon had his first fall when he took nose dive off the couch this morning. His head fell into a very large cup of (room temperature) tea. See, Hava was sitting next to him on the couch where he was sleeping when the phone rang. She ran to the phone which was close by but by the time she had the phone in hand, Simon had woken up and was in mid-air heading for the tea (no pun intended). She threw the phone, slipped, screamed and poor Matthew (on the other line) was left to hear the result but didn't know what happened. Don't worry, Simon is fine. Minutes later he stuck out his tongue and smiled. Hava feels completely guilty and will never let Simon sleep on the couch again; maybe not even when he comes home from a party at 2 am.

Matthew's cold has passed to Hava but Simon still seems to be cold free.

New things for Simon: he can now entertain himself with toys for ten to twenty minutes at a time. He has learned cause and effect (as demonstrated with his toy Piano - he pushes the keys and music happens), he vocalizes a lot more than he use to and sometimes he even uses syllables. When held up he runs his legs in place really fast -- kind of like a little rotary machine on high. He loves to wrestle and be thrown up in the air and can often be found attacking his parents (pulling on their arms and legs, walking up their chests with his feet) to give them the clue that it is time to play. He splashes in the tub so much these days that we must now place the tub in the bathroom to prevent the entire kitchen from sustaining water damage. He still can't figure out daylight savings time and his parents are about to give up trying to convert him and just un-convert themselves. And finally, he spits up much less than he use too; he can now mange to wear ONE outfit a day instead of three or four.

Matthew is still sick so we called in the reinforcements (Simon knows her as "Grammy"). Matthew is sleeping, Hava is working from home, Simon is playing with Grammy. Before Matthew came down with this nasty cold and inner ear thing, he passed on his thoughts about the election:

A rant from someone who hates rants
I don’t like rants. Perhaps its something about the word that, like "blog," makes it sound trivial and ignorant. However, for the first time in my life, I find I have the overwhelming need to write one. I write it because, if I don’t, I feel I might just scream. So, although there are many diatribes on the internet which are more eloquent or factual, none will be more heartfelt. Thanks for looking at it.

2+2=51%?
The only way I could stomach the last four years was because I knew that George W. Bush could never, ever win re-election. We’ve all seen his record: the Republicans used dirty political games to get him into office, he ignored the growing threat of terrorism until September 11th then used the crisis to push through laws that curtail the freedoms the country was founded upon, he undermined environmental protections, he entered into poorly managed and indefensible wars while ignoring more tangible threats, he destroyed the economy. In the last four years, the rich became richer and the poor ended up worse off than ever. I have often said that George W. Bush was the worst president since Nixon (although Reagan comes close) and I stand by that statement. It seemed that others shared my sentiments. Democrats were energized like never before. Liberals finally fought back against years of politically-motivated accusations of a liberal media elite and the indefensible machinations of the Fox News channel; we took back the popular culture. We had Jon Stewart on TV, Michael Moore in movies, and Al Franken on the radio. The incoherent vitriol of the Rush Limbaughs and Ann Coulters of the world faded into incoherent background noise. Democrats outspent Republicans in political advertising, an amazing feat if you consider that Republicans have traditionally been backed by the wealthy. We came out to vote in record numbers. In short, we pushed ourselves to the limit, expending ourselves in a way that would tax our strength for years to come. So when, on the night of November 2nd, it became clear that Bush had won reelection, it shook the very foundations of my world. Had someone come to me and explained that 2+2 actually equaled 82 instead of four I would have accepted it more easily. Worse still, the Republicans had increased their majorities in congress. I spent hours in a state of total shock. When my wife cried that evening, I was too numb to comfort her. To this day, I’m still depressed, angry, scared.

What went wrong?
I still run the events over and over in my mind. How did this happen? I’m still not sure, but you’ve probably read what I did. Mayor Newsom in San Francisco allowed homosexuals to marry, thousands did, and images of Rosie O’Donnell holding hands with her bride were broadcast around the country. In millions of homes, people recoiled in disgust. The Republicans put nearly a dozen ballot initiatives in place to ban gay marriage. Churches were mobilized and whipped their congregations into righteous fury. In the end, it turned out that those long lines we saw at the polls weren’t just us, they were people voting against us. Was it Newsom’s fault for polarizing the country over gay marriage? No. Even if the gay marriages caused the downfall of Kerry, it was still the right thing for Newsom to do. That is the definition of integrity, doing the right thing even though it may cost you, following the truth, even if it hurts you in the process. That’s what Kerry did in Vietnam: he served with distinction, came home, and told the world the truth about the atrocities he had seen committed. A man like that deserves to be president. Hell, a man like that deserves to be emperor.

The truth is a harsh mistress
Unfortunately, what is true is often counterintuitive and flies in the face of what is laughably called “common sense.” Raising taxes and government spending is a more successful and equitable way of strengthening the economy than cutting taxes and spending. Teaching kids about suicide frequently encourages them to commit suicide. Criminals often see life imprisonment as more of a deterrent to murder than the death penalty. These are difficult to accept, but the weight of evidence bears them out. This makes them true, if unpalatable. The truth is so hard and so unforgiving that it scares some people into fundamentalism, which is the antithesis of logic and reason. Just compare the Creationist view of the origin of the universe to the scientific one. To even begin to understand the scientific view, you have to understand how subatomic particles interact, expansion theory, gravity, friction, fusion, the relationship of amino acids to proteins, and evolution. In contrast, to understand Creationism you have to believe that God made the universe in 6 days. Is it that hard to understand why people find religion so enticing? The same is true about conservative ideology. Conservatives preach that the poor are poor because our welfare system keeps them from working out of fear of poverty. They say that those who oppose America are evil and that peaceful solutions are tantamount to capitulation. It’s a compelling philosophy and so much more comforting than the truth. That’s how they won. The Republicans got 11 states to put ballot initiatives together that outlawed gay marriage. Then they used a massive network of churches to convince their congregations to rush to the polls on election day. You can call it dirty tricks; you say it’s the politics of fear. However, even without all their traditional advantages, the right-wing proved one thing: they’re smarter than we are.

The future
As Clinton did when the Republicans took over congress, the Democrats will have to move to the center and accept as much of the conservative agenda as they can stomach. The following list is not a best or a worst case scenario; it’s what I think is most likely to happen:

• Bush will appoint two more Supreme Court justices, including the Chief Justice, from a very conservative pool. With a Republican-controlled congress, there will be little opposition. This will pave the way towards a much more right-wing view of the law.
• Roe vs. Wade will be overturned and abortions will be outlawed in twenty to thirty states with the only exception allowed being provable cases of rape or incest.
• Gay marriage will be banned in another ten states. Anti-sodomy laws will be put back in the books in parts of the bible belt and the deep south.
• Taxes will be cut further, the rich will get richer, and the poor will be worse off than ever. Funding will be cut to the arts and libraries, and hospitals will close in record numbers. Infrastructure will begin to show signs of wear. The deficit will balloon to double its current size.
• Suicide bombings will rise in foreign countries as any US soldier or tourist will be considered a fair target.
• There will be a draft, but it will be so small that few will protest.
• Within our borders, all pretense of privacy will be eliminated. Anyone suspected of a terrorism-related crime will be stopped and questioned with impunity. Some will be detained for months without trial. Metal detectors will appear at the entrances to shopping centers.
• A cap will be placed on the endangered species list so that no new animals or plants can be put on it. Hundreds of creatures will go extinct.
• Creationism will be required to be taught as a valid theory alongside evolution in public schools
• Prison populations will swell and prisoner abuse will become rampant.

What does this mean?
For those of you who are as liberal as I am, who believe an abortion is a decision to be kept between a woman and her doctor, who think an educated populace is the core of a strong democracy, who feel that what two people do in the privacy of their own home is up to them, the message is clear. America is through with us. It has seen conservative ideology at its worst and embraced it with open arms. There is no place for us in country like that. That is why my wife and I are looking for work in the UK. Sure, it may not come to pass, but it’s important for us to try. When I tell people about our plans, I get one of two reactions: “Good riddance!” or “Don’t leave; we need you here.” To the first group I say that the founding fathers of this country built the government around the concept that compromise makes a country great. That’s why there are three branches of government; that’s why Congress is split in two. You may be glad to see the liberal elements leave your society, but without us your country will fail. To the second group my answer is more complicated. When I look at the news I see people living in war zones and other terrible conditions and I wonder “why don’t you leave?” Some of the people, like the Palestinians, say they stay because their families have lived in the same place for thousands of years and nobody has a right to chase them away. This may be true, but it’s also true that change, even for the better, is terrifying. It’s scary to move, even when everyone around you is dying, even when other places would welcome you with open arms. Sometimes, however, you just have to leave before things get too bad. Sometimes it’s just best to go.

The end
When a government outlaws the civil rights of a minority, it becomes tyrannical. It took Hitler two years to pass the Nuremburg Legislation that restricted the marriage rights of Jews; Bush and his cronies took four to deny these same rights to gays. Had they tried to deny marriage to Muslims, the working class, or Asians, the result would have been immediate uproar. However, these rights were taken from a group reviled by our society and so it was acceptable. Once a society becomes comfortable with abusing a minority of its own populace, it becomes easier to abuse another minority and another and another until there is nobody left. By denying the right of marriage to homosexuals America made it clear it would prefer oppression to compassion, prejudice to freedom. Next it could be Jews, Hispanics, the middle classe, who knows? I, for one, don’t want to be here when I’m in the minority being oppressed. I deserve better, so do my wife and son, so do you.

Happy five months to Simon!

Today Simon learned how to fold down and climb on the bumper of his crib to see what Mom is doing. Mom removed the bumper and now needs to lower the crib mattress (he clearly has his eyes on getting out). We finally found a food that Simon loves, bananas (mmmmm). Even bananas are yucky without rice and milk or water. Mom has learned that Simon will gladly eat any fruit or vegetable as long as it is mixed with milk or rice cereal.